I could have sworn
You were never there to begin with.
All the same,
When you appear,
My heart crawls up my throat
Into my brain
To look through the backs of crystal ball eyes
So it can watch your movements
As reverently as I do.

All I know
Is that if you make my breathing any faster,
I'm sure
To propel myself backwards
Into the wall
Under your gaze
Under your fingertips.

It's not so bad,
Actually.
The warmth of my palms
When you reach for me,
And the names you drop
In secret...
In cyan-tinted darkness,
You caught me.

I'll tell you for sure
Once my muscles untangle
And my teeth stop throbbing in their roots.
I'll tell you
Just how much
that made-up word made me tremble
When you collected me.