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January 9, 2010
By , Los Alamos, NM
13 years
100 pounds
that is what you are
when mom and dad brought you home from the hospital I asked them if we could take you back and bring home a brother instead.
1st chair cello
2nd year of middle school
3rd and youngest child
you always complained about having to sit in the middle seat of the car. Or being the last person to recieve all of my hand-me-downs. But somehow you always adapted.
1 boy
2 knives
3 attempts to stab you
you were decorating your best friend's locker before school for her birthday. It was going to be a suprise. He came in. Dancing with his knives. Then he tried to stab you.
3 months
2 suicide attemtps
1 leg covered in cuts
you were never taught how to handle this. So you couldn't adapt. Family, school, friends. We all pushed it aside. Pretended it was no big deal. So you tried to leave. And when that failed, you marked yourself. To represent the cuts that boy was never able to make.
3 therapists
2 heartbroken parents
1 tear
you said "do not judge me. I didn't know what to do. Leaving just seems easier."
1 empty pill bottle
2 letters you left
3 days till the your funeral
Your cello is resting in the corner of your room. Your shoes are still sleeping by the door.
This is what you left behind.

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