iT CaNt bE LoVe

January 5, 2010
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It’s always the thought of you that
Sends me flying backwards.

Taking my journey all over again
Through the memories of when
You would [force] me to eat my
Lunch (I claimed I wasn’t hungry.)
And when you held me close when I had
A bad day. (But did you really care?)
I remember you used to talk to me so
Much and I would
Always be so scared to tell you why I
Loved pain.

But you were the one who held
Me down when I was ready to
Crack upon an impulse.
And you were the one that I would
Stay up late talking to because I
Couldn’t sleep. (Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.)

And on those lonely nights,
Your voice filled the void inside of me
[For a little bit.]
I could picture your lips moving
With every word.
But there was [always] that silence that
Was [always] there;
It was there so I could tell you my story.
Let your eyes finally break through the
[Barrier] and
Wander through my chest.
(But I never filled that quiet moment
With anything but silence.)

You promised that you would never lie to me;
That your words would always
Be true.
But you lied before you could even
Break your promise.
(Because your promise was a lie, too.]
And I fell for your cunning
Words even if it was
So obvious. Because I wanted
To believe that maybe you cared about me.

You bogged down my mind,
Flicked down the
“Off” switch to my body.
(That would explain why I always
Froze up when I was near you.)
Just your scent or your voice was
Enough to send goosebumps across
My skin.
And then I could always hear my heart beat

But one day you began to
You evaporated like water, slipping
Right through my fingertips and
The worst part is:
I couldn’t stop you at all.
I lost control of you and my
Savior disappeared into the
You left me alone and
With my heartache still

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