December 24, 2009
When they first told me,
I wasn’t scared
When they first poked the IV in my arm,
I didn’t even flinch
When they first shaved my head,
I just sat and smiled

I wasn’t afraid I might not see a future
I wasn’t deathly afraid of this disease
I wasn’t scared that I may die
I secretly thought they could save me

But when they told me I needed surgery,
That’s when I got scared
When they said the tumor was bad,
My wall of bravery shattered
When they left me out of the conversation,
That’s when I knew

I was afraid I wouldn’t see a future
I was deathly afraid of this disease
I was scared that I would die
I secretly knew they couldn’t save me

When they pulled me into the room,
The lights blinded me
When they said they’d see me when I wake up,
I knew they were lying
When they said they all loved me,
I knew that was the last time I would hear it

I knew I wouldn’t see a future
I knew this disease would kill me
I knew that I would die
I knew no one could save me

When they began to put me asleep,
I panicked terribly
When they had to restrain me,
I just wanted to run away
When the tears screamed down my face,
I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare

I wanted to see a future
I wanted this disease to die
I wanted to live my life
I wanted them to be able to save me

When they strapped me down,
I wanted to scream
When they began to drug me to sleep,
I knew this was my goodbye
When they cut into my brain for the tumor,
I knew they had killed me

Now I will never see a future
Now this disease had won this war
Now I’d never get to live my life
Now everyone knew they couldn’t save me

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