I Cannot Blink

I’m staring at this sunset
Wondering if it will ever rise again,
Nothing seems to be happening
It’s the same old same old unhappiness.
Is it bad for me to sit here,
Fumbling for words,
Thinking this way?
I look at the face staring back at me
Eyes rimmed red
A rosebush, wild, full of color
But no one can look past the thorns
Hair mussed, messy, black streaks cross my face
Blurred
The perfect lines I pressed not but an hour before
Tracing the path of regret
Crossed to many times.
Now I feel unresponsive
Ruined, as if the hurt has been swapped,
Paved over, rebuilt with bricks, discreetly cold
Burning if you reach out to touch them
Stacking with every other
Attached with some sort of bond
Creating a wall thick, unsurpassable
Incapable it seems, of breaking down.
Can’t you feel the fire burning within?
Lowest point brimming with fury.
Rising to overcome the fields
No more flourishing with joy.
When these stones have all been stacked
I know my walls will crack
Someone let the sunlight in
Convert me from this darkness I’ve become
Cool water falling down
Coals still burning
Keeping the fire
It’s smoldering now
The smoke rises up
The flame can’t be seen anymore.





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