Loose

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Take a side,
Make up your mind,
Swirling my head,
What if you just can’t?
“Look before you fall”
I’ve heard it a million time,
What if I just slipped?!
Accidently?
Unintentionally I tripped,
I didn’t mean to! I swear!
I’ve been quiet, shut, never made a sound,
Suddenly he exploded my heart with words I thought I’d never hear,
No matter what, I’ll try to forget, I convinced myself,
But it would have been a lie to deny it’s obvious,
I never intended to hide it,
I knew he felt it,
I just didn’t wanna “spell it out”
Cause then, at that moment, I know it’s going to turn into the real thing,

The real pain,
Real drain,
Wild blizzards and rain…
Then a spark of hope whispered me, “Dance in the rain”
“You’re young, butterfly, live for today”
I started dancing, though I fell every day,
And even harder,
I was completely unaware, of the other side of my heart,
Indeed one was happy,
But one cried itself to sleep every night,
One was strong and gave might,
One was shattered and all did was tear apart,
I tried letting go, rising up from the fall,
But it was too deep to get up from,
Too beautiful to give up on,
I simply didn’t want to,
Every day I explored this ocean of him,
And the deeper I dived,
The more I can feel the “gravity” of my first fall,
Now, there’s too much in me I can’t even describe,
….
I’m drowning.
In the biggest,
Most breathtaking,
Oceans of the world,
That I never thought I’d find,
Such.
“Too good to be real”
“Too good to be forgotten”
& I would never allow myself to forget.
I would’ve said he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,
But he never actually…happened.
Now I’m flowing this,
Pouring this,
For destiny to decide,
Since I’ve done all I could,
I gave in every breath,
Every look,
Every smile,
Every single drop of power in me,
Now I’m letting loose, but not letting go, just loose.





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