Ended Life

December 29, 2009
By DarkPhoenix BRONZE, Liverpool, Other
DarkPhoenix BRONZE, Liverpool, Other
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make love not war


Who am I to you?
I guess by your actions
I’m no one.
Just an animal in the way,
To you I was a target.

I was loved once,
Had a home,
Had a family,
But now because of you
It’s all gone.
Because of you,
People have been hurt.

I didn’t mean anything to you,
But with that in mind,
You could have stopped.
You could have tried to make contact.

My tail is wagging
But my hope is fading.
Because of you I’m alone,
No one bothers to help,
And I wont see my family again.

A car stops in front of me,
I’d get excited,
But I don’t know her.
Her tears broke my heart.
She didn’t know me,
She didn’t hit me,
But she stopped anyway.

I wont see my family again,
But at least there is someone here.
She stands in front of me,
Stopping others making the same mistake,
As the car that has ended my life.

She wants to hold me,
She wants to tell me that it’s okay,
But she can’t believe what has happened.
She can’t see how someone can be so cruel.

Lilly!
My name pierces through every other sound.
Is that my dog?
I want to speak or wag my tail,
Just so my owner knows I can hear her.
But I don’t have the energy,
I’m slipping into the light now.
But not before I hear her cry.

Two people cried for me.
Only one knew me,
Only one loved me.
But the passion the other felt,
For a hurt unknown dog
Helped me.

I thought I might die hating people,
But the girl with the tears changed that.
Because of her I felt no pain,
Because of her I felt loved again,
Even though we were strangers.
Because of her I pity the person who hit me.

I pity them because they didn’t have the heart to stop.
They only saw me as just a dog.
Unlike the girl they didn’t see me

Who was I to them?
I guess by their actions
I was no one.
Just an animal in the way,
To them I was a target.

Who was I to her?
I wasn’t anyone,
But she made me someone.
Because of her actions,
I didn’t feel pain.
I didn’t feel scared.
I didn’t die alone.

I could have just been an animal,
But to her I was a young life,
Which was unfairly ended.


The author's comments:
I was inspired to write my first poem ever! Because of an incident which my poem is based on. Basically, someone had hit a dog and just left it in the road, it broke my heart (Being an animal lover) that someone could be so cruel. So I decided to write down my anger and hurt and turn it into a poem.

This is my first poem I have written so I would like some tips on how to improve it.

Thanks :D

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This article has 8 comments.


_Mags_ SILVER said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 8:26 pm
_Mags_ SILVER, Somewhere, North Carolina
9 articles 7 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
- I stare danger in the face and giggle
- Never argue with an idiot, people might not know the difference
-R.A.P (Retards Attempting Poetry)
-Tip Cologne ryhmes with alone

aww that's so sad, amazing poem but makes animal lovers cry. And if you want a tip: it's perfect and if this is your first poem then you have more talent then you realize.

btw-can you check out some of my stuff?


on Jan. 21 2010 at 4:56 pm
DarkPhoenix BRONZE, Liverpool, Other
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make love not war

okay thanks a lot, i like the rhyme you did at the end. :D I was looking for some improvement feedback, so i will move it thanks :D Also i have a question, is it too confusing? as i have posted it in the forums and a lot of people said that they had to re-read it a few times. Is this a good or bad thing? :D

Keegan GOLD said...
on Jan. 20 2010 at 4:56 pm
Keegan GOLD, Flushing, Michigan
15 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Ahhh..VERY impressive, it is nearly impossible to write a poem with this much emotion without living the experience. As an animal lover myself, I am deeply sorry..

The only thing I would change..and remember this is only my opinion..is that stanza you repeated? Slap that baby right on the end..it will wrap it up and just leave the reader with that feeling that when they first read it, they questioned what it meant. Now they read it, and hold pity for such an event..

on Jan. 20 2010 at 6:04 am
Katherine93 GOLD, Liverpool, Other
15 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the only person you are destined to become is the person that you choose to be" - unknown

i keep nearly typing your name hun lol. this is why your getting a lot of "hun's" from me.. lol

on Jan. 20 2010 at 6:03 am
Katherine93 GOLD, Liverpool, Other
15 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the only person you are destined to become is the person that you choose to be" - unknown

oooohhhhh hun you made me cry, this is amazing! there is so much emotion in here, i totally know where your coming from though ive seen this happen with a cat, an thats how my dog died too, in Huyton when i was seven, she was hit by a van an they just kept on going... an am still crying now :( keep up the good work an put more work on here.

on Jan. 19 2010 at 3:39 pm
Fredwardness SILVER, Romeo, Michigan
8 articles 6 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun" -The Killers (Read My Mind)

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -George Harrison

I like it. You put so much emotion into this it just was...nice. =) Good Job.

on Jan. 19 2010 at 11:46 am
DarkPhoenix BRONZE, Liverpool, Other
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make love not war

Thank you. It was a horrible thing that happened and it took me a while to put my feelings into the poem. Thanks again :D

on Jan. 18 2010 at 1:34 pm
xoxokelseyxoxo GOLD, South Plainfiled, New Jersey
17 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live, Laugh,love thats all there is to it <3

such a beautiful poem i cried. so heart touching


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