Remind Me Why I'm Still Here

By , Southfield, MI
Nights.
Tears streaming down my face
I think about life.
And how bad it is.
I feel sorry for myself.
Pity.
My mind plays tricks on me.
And suddenly I'm panicking.
Here I wish to curl up in her lap and bury my face into her neck --and shower it--As she whispers soothing words and stroke my hair.

Mommy, I need you.

Mornings.
Grandpa wakes from a hangover
He yells and fuss over everything
He picks on me--torments me
I try to explain-but I'm not heard
Only threatened..."If you open your mouth one more time..."

Here I close my eyes and curl up in my closet wishing to be in her arms. Smelling her sweet scent and cooing to her voice[of an angel].

Mommy, I need you.

Days.
I wait for daddy to call.
He never does.
He doesn't care for me.
He doesn't love me.
Just his new wife and her kid
He never wanted me
Here I bury my face into my pillow and scream my anger out. Imagining the fabric is her shirt. "Sorry I soaked it."

Mommy, I need you.

Time.
I'm cracking--crumbling
Falling apart.
Life is throwing me blows
And each hurts like stones.
Being pelted on my skin.
Here I think of ending it all. Giving up; Knowing I will see her again. What do I have to live for?

I need a reminder.

Mommy, I need you.





Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 15, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I wrote this. I totally ddnt mean to write under anonymous.
 
just me replied...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 2:41 am
I love this poem I love u, time gets better believe me your mother had you for a reason you might dont see the reasons now but you will in due time.you are a precious soul on this earth believe that.
 
ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 2:48 am

Thank you so much.

But, I do know the reasons why. I do not regret my mother giving birth to me, its just with everything going on in my life now, sometimes I feel like I should give up, but not actually going to. Just feel like it.

 
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