first cut

I touch the blade to my skin,
Feeling it scratch my thigh,
Nervous,
Not sure what it’s doing,
Until I see little bubbles of blood,
I stare in fascination,
What have I done?
I hear her scream,
She can’t wait till I’m gone,
I wonder if she ever means it,
If deep down she just wants me to go away,
Why he won’t save me.