In Love With My Memory

December 6, 2009
I sit at the window watching the rain
It falls faster and faster, the sky a stormy grey
Someone comes up behind me,
For a second I think it’s you
But I look back and it’s him
My heart sinks
It’s not that I still I love you
And it’s not that I don’t love him
But the way I felt about you
Wasn’t something that will go away
I like him a whole lot
But I was in love with you
I know you’ve changed
Not in a good way
But I’m lost in my memory
Of you
Every time I close my eyes
I see the glimpse of your smile
Every time I hear a song
I listen for the sound of your laugh
You never felt the same way about me
But I somehow didn’t care
You’ve changed so much,
I never see you anymore
But I’m lost in my memory
I don’t love you now
I love what I remember about you
I loved your eyes
I loved your smile
I loved your humor
But not anymore.
You’ve changed too much
And I moved on
Or so I thought
I like him
He loves me
Part of me still loves you
What do I do?
Everything he does reminds me of you
In some way
What do I do?
I’m lost in my memory
You never call
Or answer my IMs
All the pictures I have of us
I never look at
Because it hurts
But I can remember you
And part of me loves who you used to be
And part of me hates who you’ve become
I’m lost in my memory
All the things you ever did
I remember
All the times you made me smile
I’ve held close
All the times you smiled at me
I nearly swoon when I recall
But I don’t love you anymore
I love my memory of you
I try to forget all the things you did
Try to block them out
So the only things I recall
Are the good ones
But maybe I should let the bad things submerge
Maybe then I’ll forget about you
And focus on him
But I just can’t do that to you
I can’t
I can’t
Trust me, I’ve tried
I’m lost in my memory
I’m in love with my memory
Of you

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taylorl1 said...
Jan. 1, 2010 at 6:22 pm
this is something i can honestly relate to
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