An Ironic imitation of Tennyson’s
“Charge of the Light Brigade”


One inch, one leap,

Two leaps forward,
All in the valley of Fashion
Rode the million friends
“Look at those ugly dresses!
Their looks show no caresses!” she said:
Into the valley of Fashion

Waltzed the million friends

“Forward, forward, Fashion Friends!”
Is there a single girl who acts sad?
Though the game they play serious,
What matters most is the looks
They take no heed to reason why:
No need to make reply,
Theirs but to dress till fashion dies
Into the valley of Fashion

Waltzed the million friends.

Cameras to the right of them,
Cameras to the left of them,
Cameras in front of them

Smiled and flashed;
The tabloids stormed
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Joy
Yet into the mouth of Hell

Waltzed the million friends.

Flashed all with their luxurious lashes,
Swished their dresses as the others stared,
Awed the gossips and professionals
While some others scoffed and jeered
Plunged into the competitive smoke
Fighting right up to the end
The pageants, the judges, the trends!
Reeled into the show,
While identities are sunder’d*

Woe is the million friends.

Cameras to the right of them,
Cameras to the left of them,
Cameras in front of them

Smiled and flashed;
The tabloids stormed
Boldly they waltzed and well,
Into the jaws of Joy
Yet into the mouth of Hell

Waltzed the million friends.

Will their glory ever fade?
Oh the wild chances they’ve made!

All the world wonder’d.
But the prudent comprehend—
They do not try to make amends
With the game of the redesigned trends

Goodbye, materialistic million friends!


*split apart