The Battle of Me Versus Myself

December 5, 2009
By uhlisuhf SILVER, Marlton, New Jersey
uhlisuhf SILVER, Marlton, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Hold composure



Of false exposure-



What do they think?



What do they know ?



What do they think they know?



And what will they say?




Put up a shield, fend off difference.



Turn a back,



Turn a back on truth,



On change,




on monotony.




Is it in



or is it out?



Through



or around?



Too many thoughts,



Too many sounds,



Going and coming,




shifting



Up




and down.



Too much to take in,



When I’m spinning so fast,



Too fast to see,



The change between



The circles and the blurs



Out of a hole in the ground.



Will I ever be still?




Trains all leaving from different stations,



Going to the same place.



Trains all leaving




Leading different directions,



Into the unknown




and the far too familiar.



My thoughts traveling beyond the clear



In the wake of the smoke and the engines roar.



When will this end?



To gain it all back when order was near,



And to be in that place,



In that spot where I kept,



Everything in tact,



Hidden from view,



In a corner in my room,



Where my innermost secrets-




Like a fire-



Was kept inside myself,



Hiding from all.




Glance and you’d miss it,



Look closely; the image will display,




To see I am a mold.



I bend.



I twist.



I shape.



I change.




I don’t change.



Not to stand for my own,



My thoughts on piggy-back,



Too scared to touch the ground for themselves.




To understand others more clearly,



My biggest fault yet.



To trust my own thoughts-



Own judgment and gut-



Why does that take,



So much change, more change




Then keeping with the grain?




Emotions sensitized by worrisome thoughts,



Molded into my shell



Transforming, distorting.



Thoughts that were once my own,





Now are ashes,



Tiny ashes of what was pure.



Ashes of right turning wrong.



Is it me?



Or is it them?


The author's comments:
This piece was about my desire to try and stay true to my core beliefs and values, and the frustration I felt when I came to the realization that I had been getting off that path during a time in my life when I knew I needed to reassert myself.

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This article has 1 comment.


villain123 said...
on Jul. 27 2012 at 9:45 am
villain123, Bridgewater, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm okay with war as long as nobody gets hurt."

I love the lines "What do they think, What do they know, and what do they think they know." and "Trains all leaving from different stations, going to the same place." It sounded like an echo.        

The poem was more like a set of lyrics, which isn't a bad thing.



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