The Battle of Me Versus Myself

December 5, 2009
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Hold composure

Of false exposure-

What do they think?

What do they know ?

What do they think they know?

And what will they say?

Put up a shield, fend off difference.

Turn a back,

Turn a back on truth,

On change,

on monotony.

Is it in

or is it out?


or around?

Too many thoughts,

Too many sounds,

Going and coming,



and down.

Too much to take in,

When I’m spinning so fast,

Too fast to see,

The change between

The circles and the blurs

Out of a hole in the ground.

Will I ever be still?

Trains all leaving from different stations,

Going to the same place.

Trains all leaving

Leading different directions,

Into the unknown

and the far too familiar.

My thoughts traveling beyond the clear

In the wake of the smoke and the engines roar.

When will this end?

To gain it all back when order was near,

And to be in that place,

In that spot where I kept,

Everything in tact,

Hidden from view,

In a corner in my room,

Where my innermost secrets-

Like a fire-

Was kept inside myself,

Hiding from all.

Glance and you’d miss it,

Look closely; the image will display,

To see I am a mold.

I bend.

I twist.

I shape.

I change.

I don’t change.

Not to stand for my own,

My thoughts on piggy-back,

Too scared to touch the ground for themselves.

To understand others more clearly,

My biggest fault yet.

To trust my own thoughts-

Own judgment and gut-

Why does that take,

So much change, more change

Then keeping with the grain?

Emotions sensitized by worrisome thoughts,

Molded into my shell

Transforming, distorting.

Thoughts that were once my own,

Now are ashes,

Tiny ashes of what was pure.

Ashes of right turning wrong.

Is it me?

Or is it them?

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This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

NG123 said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 9:45 am

I love the lines "What do they think, What do they know, and what do they think they know." and "Trains all leaving from different stations, going to the same place." It sounded like an echo.        

The poem was more like a set of lyrics, which isn't a bad thing.

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