December 1, 2009
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It’s that continuous moment where you realize
You’re growing up
And it can’t be stopped.
Not that you necessarily want to stop it.
The future stares at you like a stormy sky,
Dark clouds with the sun
Somewhere behind.

I remember talking to you
About college and the future.
Your look like it was tomorrow
And tomorrow I would abandon you.
You mentioned it a lot when you were younger,
And I was, too.
Maybe you accept it now.
Do you think every family does this?
Only sisters up and leave
To a place you haven’t seen?

My heart feels sick because we fight
And we don’t understand each other
And you like wars and guns and
Things of boyish childhood, and I hate those
And have the mind of a grown-up.

Eight years is a lot of life
To have over someone.

I’m sorry.
Despite my happiness,
I cry now.
By living, I also lose.
By choosing, I leave what I love
To take a chance.

I hate how college is like death.
I’m the one with the incurable disease
Who knows they’re going
To heaven. But others
Mourn the time
And so I do, too.

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