Darkness

November 26, 2009
By Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe


I watch the sunset fall
As I prepare for what awaits me
The darkness swallows the city whole as it reaches me
Feeling like forever
Torturing and threatening
Grinning from ear to ear
It reaches my face
It plays its fear game with me
I play the game by the rules
The game is too hard
I give in
I lose
As the darkness
Swallows
Me
ALIVE


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This article has 14 comments.


nessie14 said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:56 am
i loved it~!! it was awesome and i feel like you were writing to me about me thanks!

on Mar. 4 2010 at 8:34 pm
guinea_pig_girl BRONZE, Centennial, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Very creepy, but I loved it, especially the personification, description, topic, and rhythm. I would only take out "as it reaches me", because it throws off the rhythm and "me" is at the end of the line before, too. Overall, one of my favorite poems.

Rennie BRONZE said...
on Feb. 27 2010 at 12:38 pm
Rennie BRONZE, Abbeville, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
You only have one life, so don't mess it up.








-Logan (My little brother)

This is really good. It makes you stop and think. LOVE IT!

on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:07 pm
DallysGrrl PLATINUM, Middlesex, New Jersey
20 articles 0 photos 199 comments
Great writing style! u put ur personal fear into this and its great! wow. i think that u really have something here.

on Jan. 24 2010 at 4:42 pm
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's never to late, if it weren't for the last minute many things would never get done!

Once again a fantastic poem! I could say almost the exact same thing as I said on that first one, but I'll spare you having to read it again!

on Jan. 10 2010 at 7:22 pm
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

thanks. this was my first poem on here. im glad people actually like it. im pretty much surprised really.

Emily:) said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 12:51 pm
LOL! I meant 'this is good' not 'this good' lol. 'emily like' LOL *again*

Emily:) said...
on Jan. 10 2010 at 12:50 pm
This good. The human fear of darkness inspires many writers, but you managed to make it your own through personification and analogies. Great!

on Jan. 4 2010 at 8:26 pm
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

thanks i really appreciate the feedback!

on Jan. 4 2010 at 3:20 pm
blanking_out GOLD, Bonita Springs, Florida
13 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Follow the leader, but not too close, just in case they fall.

hey alice, this is a pretty good piece of work. it has a clear meaning of the idea that you are trying to portray. how the darkness is effecting you. i like i how you wrote this.

on Jan. 3 2010 at 9:52 am
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

thanks. i really appreciate the feedback!

on Jan. 2 2010 at 9:11 pm
monstrosity BRONZE, Hood River, Oregon
1 article 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
He who laughs last didn't get it.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

I like the contrast between you and the darkness. It's a really intriguing piece!

on Dec. 23 2009 at 7:58 pm
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

how come no ones reading my poem?????

on Dec. 16 2009 at 5:17 pm
Michellebrain GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
12 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.”
-Marilyn Monroe

this poem is great!


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