(Not) My Beautiful Angel

November 24, 2009
Cracking up is not mandatory
cracking up is insanatorily demising
personally despising
the looks they gave me
and, yes, you saved me
from that cruel fate
but I don't know if it's all that great
tough love, sweet heart,
but can't you just go back to . . .
being normal?
With me?
When we sat on those chairs
and laughed at that bee
and why were you so sad
at our inevitable departure,
and why were you so mad
at our differences of aren't sure
aren't you?
Can't we just go back
to the way things used to be?
When I could look at you and
everything seemed . . .
perfectly . . .
adequately . . .
As long as you
could say my name.
I can never say your name
without someone saying good bye
and there are a million reasons why . . .
I love you.
And a million reasons why . . .
I left you.
And maybe one or two on
how I met you.
You and your beautiful voice of an angel
ah, how can I say no?
I have dropped out of that race
and yet,

when I close my eyes
all I can see is your face.

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