November 21, 2009
I am a liar, a shallow body of nothingness.
I have no morals, no self respect.
I am shameful.

I don't know what truth is.
I lie to myself and everyone around me.
I want to tell, but I'm too chicken.

I wrap myself and hide in the comfort of my lies.
I am deceitful, a hipocrit.

People feel sorry for me when they shouldn't.
I absorb their sympathy, feeling guilty inside.
I want to tell, but I'm too chicken.

My self esteem is deteriorating.
I deserve it. I deserve all of it.
I walk around with my fake smile.
My face burns with embarrassment and shame.
The only things to put out the fire are my tears.

Go ahead and cry; it's your fault.
You created this and no one cares.

This is overwhelming, eating me up.
I can't take the guilt any longer.
I want to tell, but I'm too chicken.

Don't trust me.
Don't be fooled.
I'm a liar and nothing more.
Don't open your arms to me or listen when I cry.
You're wasting your time.
It's all a lie.

I long for the truth, wanting to embrace it.
But the truth hurts and I couldn't take that pain.
So for now, I'll continue with the lies and with the guilt.
Because to tell the truth,
I'm just too chicken.

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