How to be a Dictator for Dummies

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Waking up in the morning I sigh
It is not easy being me
I walk groggily walk into the shower and let the hot water embrace me
Slowly I start to become awake and aware
I get out and dry myself with a white towel
I stare at myself in the mirror and trim my mustache
That has been the amusement of many
I grab my toothbrush and put on toothpaste
With every brush I worry about my day
Banana workers on strike, the possibility of being assassinated, and
A rebel army sponsored by the CIA
The same people who put me here in the first place
Maybe I’m just too radical
I spit out the toothpaste and stare at myself in the mirror
Most people think I’m insane and I’m starting to think they are right
This job would make anyone insane
I should of thought more about this before I had the corrupt president shot
Maybe I could share the power with the people and start a senate
No, I’d wind up dead in a hole if I gave them any power
They hate me now
After the revolution I was a God
But that has longed passed
I don’t think they like my secret police force
Maybe I’m no better than the man I had shot
I walked to my closet and pulled out some clothes
I thought of where I could escape to
None of the neighboring countries would want me
And the CIA has there own agendas there
Switzerland would be nice
I could empty the treasury before I go
But it is too far away and too cold
I put on my clothes, a military uniform, and
Stare at myself in the mirror
I practiced the speech I’d give to the banana workers
And hope I could show enough bravado
If they didn’t stop I would be forced to call the army
That would make an interesting headline
“Army crushes striking Banana workers”

I laughed at the absurdity of it
Then I thought of how the army could be used against me
I don’t trust the generals, I see the thirst for power in their eyes
Maybe I’m just paranoid, being a dictator does that to you
I decide I look good and leave the room
Hoping I can survive another day as dictator





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