my sister looks over at
me
as i take the first
toke
and asks me
"are you too afraid
of moving
forward
or of moving
at all?"
i pass her the
joint
and watch her take
one
two tokes and I
exhale
and peer at
her
through the grey
cloud
of smoke and say
"nothing"
she asks me
"then what are
you
afraid of?"
i feel the
harsh
smoke scratch at my throat and
wait
until i feel slightly
lightheaded
and exhale
im afraid of
life
im afraid of
nothing
of being
nothing
and having
nothing
and of how
comfortable
i am with
nothing.
i take the
joint
and my tokes
before
roaching it
"nothing"
i say breathing out
I
light a cigarette and
watch
my oldest sister walk
out
the door leaving me in the
cold