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Climbing Out

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I'm not in control of my own life.
I don't control anything that happens to me.
I can't handle myself, nor anyone else.
I can't stop any mistakes I'll make.
I don't think I'll ever feel free...











Again. again. again.
Even when I'm out, the night is mine,
Even when I get away with everything,
I still feel trapped.
Even when everything is going well,
Even when it's warm and rainy,
I still feel strapped..

D
o
w

n.

Question after question, I'll ask...










Myself.


Why do I feel like this?
Why am I stuck here?



Why can't I escape?
Why won't it all disappear?

I'll search for answers that'll never be found.
I'll try for things I'll never accomplish.
I'll chase these thoughts around my head..




















f o r e v e r.
I don't feel like I'll get better, but I hope.
I don't feel like I'll change, but I want to.
I don't feel like this will work, but I
Have
Nothing
Else...






[to try.]

Sometimes I wonder for hours,
even days,
but now months could pass,
and those same thoughts will remain.
















permanently.
Again,


down,




forever,







myself,









to try,












permanently.

I've already hit the bottom,














| but I'm slowly climbing Up
and |
Out.





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

ByThyName said...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 2:00 pm
I think people dont understand this because they havnt been through.. stuff but i completely understand what your saying and you nailed it, great work :D
 
calephchad said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm
I looove this poem! Totally understandable. ! This one is my favorite out of all of your work. Even though all your other ones are really impressive also. ! I just really love how mysterious this is and how you express your anxiety. You pulled this off so well! I love it! I can sense the emotion completely. Thanks for putting this together and posting. I can just see how the thoughts connect to one another in such apprehension. I really love this. This relates to most of my work. Keep posting! I... (more »)
 
LeilaniLives replied...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 7:49 pm
YOU ARE AMAZING. I'm pretty much not kidding. Your feedback is incredibly encouraging and someone finally comment my work as much I comment theirs. :)
But thank you! This poem actually has my lowest rating- a 4. I have 4.5 or above on the rest D: lol. I guess this poem is not in everyone's interest. But it was very emotional, so I posted it.
Thanks again, Leilani.
 
Inkspired said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:26 pm
This is cool, slightly confusing, but it's like thoughts. I love the way you wrote it! Great job.
 
Morningstar This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 23, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I love this Leilani!
 
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