from my nowhere

October 24, 2009
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Got your hopes up again?
Silly girl.
How many times do you have to be told?
I'm guessing at a limitless number. I never learn.

Falling apart at the fingertips.
It hurts to make anything. So I don't.

Cold fingers, nose, feet, ears
I hold myself closer.
But my arms don't seem to be big enough,
There's always something left out.
Why do I bother?
F*** if I know.
Ask the one who made me, wherever he is.
Oh, sorry. I meant He.
So disrespectful.

The more I try to hide, the more noticeable I become.
Don't be angry.
I just want to disappear.
Whatever works.

I try to say my thoughts,
Two Cents in.
Words get outside of my mouth
And hit against that thick skull of yours.
Did you get that?
Get what?

Hallelujah from my nowhere.
Where'd reality go?
Some place it doesn't want me to be.
Gave up on the search?
Just to say they didn't leave me stranded.
Went back inside. It's too cold out there.
Out where?

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