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The Girl I Could Be

So I’m still trying to get over you
Over your best friend too
No I’m not the best girl to want to be with
I’m glad you realized that
Before it hurt you
But to be honest, I would have changed for you.
I would have stayed with you.
I could have been the girl of your dreams.
I would have changed everything just to prove to you
That I could be good too.
I could be beautiful
I could be irresistible too.
Falling for you was just another mistake.
Pretending you fell for me
Wasn’t the way to go.
You could have been strait up with me.
To save the pain I’ve had since the day you said goodbye.
To save me the thoughts of you and I
Walking down the hall with my hand intertwined with yours
My lips pressed against yours
Walking through the doors of my very first prom night.
Waking up to your smile every weekend…
And now I just look at you, and turn away.
I know you see my smile,
I know you hear my laugh,
I know you think I’m okay.
But I’m not.
And I won’t be, not for a while.
But I’ll keep acting
I’ll keep faking
I’ll keep pretending, just like you did.

Maybe someday I’ll actually learn.
Hopefully soon I’ll understand.
I’m wanted for just one thing.
That’s all I’ll be good for.
Just one night.

Thanks for once again bringing me back to reality.
Where love is non-existent,
And promises are just words we say
Where complements only mean one thing…which means nothing.

Someday I will look up,
And see you with another girl on your arm.
Another girl falling head over heels for you.
For those eyes,
For that smile,
For that charm,
For all those lies you say.


I thought “you weren’t like that”?
I thought “I was special”?
I thought you saw the girl I’m capable of being.
But that’s just what I thought.

Someday, I’ll be loved for the girl I can be.
You were too blinded by what was on the outside,
You never took the chance to understand.
I’m real.
I’m a person.
I have feelings.
I think you missed all that too.
I’m more than a chick with a nice rack.
I’m more than all the stories you’ve heard.
I’m more than a hook up on Friday nights.
I’m more than a drunk on every other day.
I’m more than a sweetheart
A hypocrite
A great kiss with nice hips,
I’m just so much more than all the things you thought of me.
Realizing that…
I’m so much better off without you in my life.
Maybe I don’t deserve the world,
Maybe I don’t deserve a shooting star,
But every slut,
Every drunk,
Every whore,
Every nice girl,
Every actress,
Every model,
Every girl,
Deserves a chance.
Just one chance to prove who they can be.
Amazing, beautiful, trust worthy, sweet, and be the one you fall in love with.
Love is real, somewhere.
I don’t know where, I don’t know when, how, or who,
But it’s real.
I just have to wait.
True love is coming soon.
If you’d all understand why I do the things I do,
Would you accept me?
Would you never leave me?
Or would walk right passed me?

I’m ready.
I think I’m ready…
To get up from the ground,
To put back on my crown,
To never looking back at the girl I’m said to be.
The thoughts that I always think,
The feelings I keep.
So deep inside me.
It’s going to take time,
It’s not going to be easy.
I just have to go.
I just have to leave.
I have to give it all up someday.
I’m sick of constantly feeling alone,
Even if someone is always with me.
I’m tired.
I just want to sleep the days away.
Never waking up is such an easier way.
But I think I’m ready to fight.
I think I’m ready to win.
I think I’m ready to be the girl of someone’s dreams.
The real me.





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