Her Maze

October 22, 2009
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Endlessly searching.
She couldn’t figure out
Where he was.

It seemed only moments ago
When she felt
The warmth of his breath,
His hand in hers.

Running around in circles.
She needed to find him.
Trapped in this maze.

She could still hear his cheerful laugh,
Increasingly audible with each step.
Excited and relieved,
She runs faster towards the sound.
Heart skipping a beat at the thought.

She turns the corner.
Finds him.
Holding another,
Laughing at her flirtations.
She turns around,
She has lost her prince.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

AndThisIsReal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 2, 2009 at 9:53 am
I like the ending, but I agree with Evelyn, it does kind of fall at the end.
Overall I thought it was really good and I liked the maze comment.
Yael K. said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:18 pm
i think its ok....it portrays the emotion very well, just maybe work on how you pace it
Evelyn replied...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 6:51 pm
i agree yael, this is a good poem, but the poem kinda falls at the end, i think its the wording. but i like the depth and emotion. continue writing!
Aro_To_The_Heart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 9:11 am
This...is...amazing. So much depth and sorrow. I like how you built it up and crashed it down at the end. This is exactly how I've felt (exchange the character roles of course!) when I was about to tell the person I loved that I cared so much for her. I found her in the arms of another and I just walked away. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.
dramaqueen224 said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 5:12 pm
this is great. I have felt sort of the same things. keep writing!
Paig3Cagl3 said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 11:37 am
This is a very great insight into teenage infatuation. I love it. Please check out my writings that i have posted on here I think you would really enjoy them.
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