Her Maze

October 22, 2009
By Brookeyy BRONZE, Massena, New York
Brookeyy BRONZE, Massena, New York
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Searching.
Endlessly searching.
She couldn’t figure out
Where he was.

It seemed only moments ago
When she felt
The warmth of his breath,
His hand in hers.

Running around in circles.
She needed to find him.
Trapped in this maze.
Forever.

She could still hear his cheerful laugh,
Increasingly audible with each step.
Excited and relieved,
She runs faster towards the sound.
Heart skipping a beat at the thought.

She turns the corner.
Finds him.
Holding another,
Laughing at her flirtations.
She turns around,
She has lost her prince.


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This article has 6 comments.


on Nov. 2 2009 at 9:53 am
AndThisIsReal PLATINUM, Broadalbin, New York
31 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dans chaque fil il y a un debut.

I like the ending, but I agree with Evelyn, it does kind of fall at the end.

Overall I thought it was really good and I liked the maze comment.

:D

Emotion.!

on Nov. 1 2009 at 6:51 pm
TheRealAriel1995 PLATINUM, Highland Village, Texas
30 articles 6 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See in what peace a Christian can die." - Joseph Addison
"How come everyone will come to your funeral, but nobody will come see you when you are living?"

i agree yael, this is a good poem, but the poem kinda falls at the end, i think its the wording. but i like the depth and emotion. continue writing!

on Oct. 29 2009 at 5:18 pm
yael krifcher BRONZE, Potomac, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments
i think its ok....it portrays the emotion very well, just maybe work on how you pace it

on Oct. 29 2009 at 9:11 am
Aro_To_The_Heart PLATINUM, Mandeville, Louisiana
47 articles 7 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than hands?

-Ernest Gaines.

This...is...amazing. So much depth and sorrow. I like how you built it up and crashed it down at the end. This is exactly how I've felt (exchange the character roles of course!) when I was about to tell the person I loved that I cared so much for her. I found her in the arms of another and I just walked away. This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

on Oct. 28 2009 at 5:12 pm
dramaqueen224 BRONZE, West Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never put on a frown until you are sure no smiles are available

this is great. I have felt sort of the same things. keep writing!

on Oct. 28 2009 at 11:37 am
AbbotRabbit GOLD, Abolana, District Of Columbia
11 articles 0 photos 1029 comments

Favorite Quote:
This poem has great flow and insight.
I really enjoyed it.
Lovely poem darling =]
-Please check out the works that I have posted on here it would be highly appreciated and I think you would greatly enjoy them, Thankk youz-
XxIll tell you Im an orphan after you meet myy familyXx

This is a very great insight into teenage infatuation. I love it. Please check out my writings that i have posted on here I think you would really enjoy them.


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