I Hate that I Love Him

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He’s the type of guy who thinks he’s all that because his brother is a star athlete.
He’s the type of guy whose philosophy with girls is: “If at first you don’t succeed: lie, lie again”.
He’s the type of guy who gets what he wants, even if it’s not what he needs.
He’s the type of guy that exercises my gag reflex.
He makes me want to throw up; he makes me want to scream.
I strongly dislike guys like that, and I hate seeing him everyday.
I hate that he’s always right, even when he’s wrong.
. I hate how he knows the lyrics to all my favorite songs.
I hate that he makes me laugh, and makes me question myself.
I hate that he’s with her.
. I hate them in the hallways, I hate them on the stairs, I hate him, and I don't like her much better.
I hate how I can’t stop thinking about him.
I hate that I can’t stop wondering if maybe he’s thinking of me.
. I hate how that deep down inside, I know we could never be.
I hate the tears that well in my eyes every time I see him, I hate that feeling in my gut.
. I hate his stupid smile, his stupid chocolate eyes, his stupid muscles, and that he makes me cry.
I hate all these things about him; I hate this boy so much.
But I hate how he makes me feel, but without him the sorrow is so much worse.
I hate that I could never love him, or even say it out loud.
I hate that he’s always there, standing in my way.
I hate that as long as he’s there, I will never be able to move, and I will be in a perpetual state of confusion.

I hate him.

I hate him so much.

But I hate that I love him even more.

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