Fog...

October 12, 2009
By Anonymous

Thick fog.
Everything before me
overshadowed by a haunted gray.
Walking through the cool mist is terrifying-
can you see me?
This film of dew is hard to breathe.
Each step I take,
the moves I make,
trap me inside this glass case.
There's nothing I can do.
Try to speak into the darkness
and it blurts back its response-
silence.


The author's comments:
This poem is an introduction to a series of poems that come from last years diary. It was a year filled with drama and this poem deomonstrates how I'm desperate to get my story out. The poems will be like a story and this one is meant to present. Flashbacks will occur! Reviewers: I'm more concerned with how the poem related to you; in my case, I was (am lonely) but it may vary between people. Also, constructive criticism is accepted, as long as its not like It sucked, take it down. Thank you for reading!
-Ava

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This article has 2 comments.


Avalynn BRONZE said...
on Nov. 2 2009 at 8:27 pm
Avalynn BRONZE, Monrovia, California
4 articles 0 photos 26 comments
yeah, i could have done better if i spent more time on it > < and of course :) btw, in a week or so, i'll have a poem called Crescendo posted that begins the diary :] thanks for commenting!

planet42 said...
on Nov. 1 2009 at 6:51 pm
planet42, Temple City, California
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Wow, this is kinda scary, but i like how your words make me feel like im there! Very descriptive, but maybe if you spent more time on it, it could be better. can't wait to read the stuff from the diary either... btw

im new to TI but can you read my poems when they get posted?


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