Filled with anger and animosity
I seethe in silence
Soul wavering
Heart Trembling

She possesses me
She grasps what’s inside
Plucking apart what she finds
Peeling away the layers around
What I dare not show anyone else.
For I am ashamed
Filled with anger and animosity

She’s able to get a stranglehold
On the sensitivity on the inside.
Asphyxiating my spirit
Twisting the humanity from my soul
Bending the fabric of consciousness
Distorting the irresolute threads of sanity
Contorting that mask I hold over my character
Till I am no longer what I was.
And I can do nothing
Except seethe in silence

She is the very bane of my existence
I cannot stop the beast inside
From roaring and shouting
Demanding horrible things
Offering an ultimatum
Get rid of something
Destroy something beautiful
Or this torrent of hate
Will erode you from the inside
I can feel my soul wavering

But I can’t do anything
Except bite my tongue until it bleeds
And I can taste that familiar flavor
Rusty coins that I’ve come to loathe
Digging my fingers into my palms
Clawing away the outer flesh
Wanting to meet the driving force
That continues to slash on the inside
Until my nails succeed
Tearing through soft tissue
Opening up a crimson river
And tributaries of warm red rum
Drip out
My pulse erratically pumps
My heart trembles

She extinguishes the light inside
Making my body feel icy cold
Like my blood is liquid nitrogen.
Makes the shadows consume
Until even my eyes go black
And I can see nothing
Except the twisted figures
Of a silhouetted reality.
Until everything inside is eradicated
And I am nothing

Devoured by my own anger and animosity
Seething with loathing
My soul has wavered
I can no longer feel my heart…

Until my light returns
And is once again visible

My anger dissipates
My animosity is tamed
Peacefulness develops

And I reach a state of complete

Zen.