Pressure

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Having trouble looking, searching, facing, thoughts are quickly racing. Pros and cons, weighing some facts, it's time to see which one will last.

Walking, running, chasing, this heart is really pacing. Breathing gets hard, nerves get tense, it feels like the fear of running into a fence.

Rope is yanking, choking, pulling, wraps around a neck. A heart pangs inside as the mind whispers, "Go ahead."

A throat is hurting, screaming, burning like hell. Not a soul hears a single yell. Time stands still, freezes in place. Now it's time to step away from this case.

Stopping, thinking, doing, legs become straight and the rope hangs alone. Lights flicker off, a car drives home.





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Shambler92 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 7, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Man, since i've discovered this webpage, this is probably the best poem i've read, and the only one that relies a lot on structure and good writing and feeling as well. amazing job
 
sasssgirrrl22 replied...
Jan. 11, 2010 at 7:53 pm
agree wit shambler. I hav read alot of realy gr8 articlez on here & this is def 1 of em. awesome descriptionz 2 ;P
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 9:07 pm
awe thanks guys! that is very nice of both of you and i really appreciate it!
 
poems=life said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 6:30 pm
i think this is really outstanding! how its written very well and i like the layout. what inspired you to write this?
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 11:54 am
awe, thanks! and we had to write a narrative poem in my creative writing class and i've never written anything dark before, and i did go through a depression, so i was pulling a lot of feelings from that and created a thought process for someone who had no one to talk to
 
poems=life replied...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 4:30 pm
well how do you like the result? do you like the face that it is dark? my poems kinda get dark sometimes i love it but sometimes im not too sure. how are you with this poem?
you had noone to talk to? :(
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 4:19 pm
well i'm good now but i did have no one to talk to. but now i have a best friend and an amazing almost-boyfriend, so life is looking very up :) i do really like this poem, i'm proud of it :) thanks a lot!
 
poems=life replied...
Nov. 2, 2009 at 8:34 pm
oooo allmost boyfrind lol. congrads! i hope he treats you right missy. a few last questions : 1) what is your favorite line from this poem and why? 2) how long did it take you? 3) your bf better be a good one. lol not a question sorry
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 5:01 pm
awe thanks :) he's amazzinggg, i've never met anyone like him. i'm pretty sure he'll treat me right because honestly, it has never felt this right to be around someone before :) i thank you for caring :)
and it took me a couple hours to actually write the poem, but i did edit it for about a week before i got the polished piece finished :)
and i'd have to say my favorite line is "Rope is yanking, choking, pulling, wraps around a neck. A heart pangs ins... (more »)
 
poems=life replied...
Nov. 4, 2009 at 9:03 pm
woah it sounds like you like him alot? aw thats very cute, i hope your exited because it sounds like he will be ok. if not ill beat him up for you. :P
why dont you right a poem about how you feel about him? since you feel stongly it might come out really good?
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Nov. 5, 2009 at 5:49 pm
yeah i like him a lotttt :x lol guys have treated me horrible before, like horrible beyond belief, and then he's there, total proof not all guys are the same :)
and i am actually working on a poem right now in my creative writing class, and the poem has to be based off of words we cut out of magazines, and it's about how i feel about him. however, i think after i'll write one where i don't have to work with only words i find in a magazine unless the magazine poem turns... (more »)
 
userspay said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 6:16 am
i love it <3
 
LeilaniLives said...
Oct. 25, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I'd have to say it was very creative for a person who hasn't actually felt this way.
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Oct. 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm
thank you that means a lottt :)
 
LeilaniLives replied...
Nov. 7, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Sure thing, you really deserve it. Would you like to check out any of my work? I'd absolutely love it if you commented/gave criticism.
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Nov. 8, 2009 at 5:14 pm
sure thing! i don't have time right now, but i will be more than happy to look at your work within the next week :)
 
LeilaniLives replied...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Sure thing, but if you could get around to it, I'd appreciate that.
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 8:06 pm
yeah, asap! :)
 
ameerrante said...
Oct. 25, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I haven't seen a poem structured like this before, it's very creative. I like how you didn't jump into the actual suicide, you let it drag out. You showed the thought process, the feelings, the actions - and you never wrote about suicide directly, you showed the background that leads towrads it. Very well done !
 
tennisislovee34 replied...
Oct. 25, 2009 at 7:47 pm
thank you so much! that means a lot :) I'm glad you liked it!
 
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