Cardiac Tissue

October 15, 2009
Thoughtful, with the greatest of ease.
You walk out of my life.
As if you were all but a dream.
Though your face still lingers in my head.
You were all fenced in,
a prisoner of the walls.
You died alone.
You refused to forge a relationship with me and you have no idea.
No idea how you broke my heart.
But I love you all the same.
I find these things, they remind me of you.
A man I never knew.
Except through words of second hand and possessions.
I had to struggle to grasp at what was given to me,
to piece it together in my quaking mind.
of who you were.
And what made you the lonely old man you became.
Why couldn't you tell us that cancer was slowly eating your insides.
That they were tearing you up inside?
Grandpa, I want you to know that I wear your watch everyday.
And hope that you are proud of me.
I mourn not only for the loss of you,
but for the loss of a grandmother taken from me too soon.
Of a grandfather I never knew.
Of a cousin I wish never would have left.
And I friendship ended with regrets.
I mourn for them all.
And now this poem comes to an end.
I hope that someday these wounds may mend.

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