Fighting Feelings

October 14, 2009
So there are two boys
Boy 1 and Boy 2,
I'll call them that

My heart is suspended in the air
Like a balloon tied down
But floating in the sky

Boy 2 is my string
The one tying me down
So I won't float away
Into the clouds

Boy 1 is my balloon,
The one who's invading my dreams,
Trespassing into my heart,
And causing me to fly far into the sky

My love is the helium
Helping keep the balloon afloat
Without even trying.
My feeling is making me unstable

If I could only admit to myself
Why I like Boy 2,
Which is more of why I don't.

If I could only admit to myself
That Boy 1 is still in my mind,
still in my heart all the time

If I could only admit that to myself,
Then I would know exactly what I feel,
I would be stable,
I could stand firmly on the ground,
But along with that,
I would be so, so ashamed

So I continue to hold it in,
And eventually Boy 2 will fail his job,
And I'll float so far into the clouds
that I'll suddenly pop

The worst part is,
I think I'd enjoy it





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