I let my fingers run over the page. Each paragraph has its own feelings attatched.
The Eulogy speech for your funeral.
The few years we had known each other were hard ones. Full of trials and triblulations, but we made it through them. Why wasn't this the same as always?
I winced as my index finger traced a thin line just below my knee. It was still tender..
How I yearn to be in your arms again, to have you hold me and say it's alright.

As I walk behind the pulpit of a long-forgotten church, I smile. I say nothing of the good times, nor the bad. I only say your name, and three words that say it all.
"I loved him."
I always had. I still do. Nothing will ever change that.
As my hand balled into a tight fist, I uttered words that stirred the crowd.
"We have a few choices. We can live on, happy, because life is still worth living, or we can live, yet die emotionally."
Or, My mind drifted to my choice. You can join him.
"What would he want?" I smile and back away. My time has come.

I slide into the bathroom and follow you, as I always have. My hand rubs the ruby crystals from the blade as I slide to the floor with a smile on my face.

But when I sought you I found nothing.
We live and die only to be forgotten.
A life of lies shows no faults until the end,
When you realize I was right all along.



kbt/1-22-08