Swearing

I never understood
why it was difficult to hold your tongue,
why the guys took pleasure in uttering those words,
why relief supposedly flooded in with each curse.

I always bit my tongue
when frustration overcame me,
when I made an attempt to walk through closed doors,
when I let you stand there and belittle me.

Now I understand
and those words constantly swirl around in my head,
and every frustration makes it difficult to keep it in,
and I know I can't keep my mouth shut forever.