I.Just.Wish

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I feel your fingers
Search for mine
Fingertips feeling the air
Until they close around mine

But my heart sinks
A sudden wave of reluctance washing over me
Not those waves you see ebb away
But those waves that refuse to return to sea

This isn’t what I want
A month of flowers and hearts
I suddenly realize
That nagging voice from the start
That voice I deemed as so insignificant
Has come back to haunt me

Every time I see you
I expect my heart to do a little jump
This time I feel nothing but a dull throb
The butterflies in my stomach
The dampness of my hands
All gone
Just like that

One by one
The pieces fall
The debris forming a small mound
At the bottom of my heart
But I can’t ever imagine
What will happen to yours
When I say those three words

Three words?
Most think of
I.Love.You
Those three words
Adorned with feather wings and a halo
Did I tell you?
Mine are adorned with bruises and cracks?

Too many to choose from
I.Hate.You
Just Friends,Okay?
Just.Stay.Away
Don’t.Love.You
I choose the one that hurts you the least

The one…
I just can’t finish…
I.Just.Wish





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