My First Lie

I knew what I was doing.
Him? Not so much.
I knew how I was feeling.
Him? Not so much.

He knew his emotions,
But couldn't guess mine.
So he took that chance.
He made that leap.
He wanted to fall.
He wanted to fly.
Like a dove, and be carried
by my love,
Not the wind.

Those three words destroyed his eyes.
Those three words ruined my mind.
Those three words endangered his life.
Endangered his mind,
Endangered his soul,
Endangered his well-being.

Because I was it,
The one,
The boss,
In the position of ultimate control.

How could I, but
Why should I, but
I can't, and I won't,
So I said it.

I can't stand there,
and watch him fall,
And let him sink,
And be like all
The others who just stand there and laugh
While he's falling off the map,
And thank the good Lord
There was a breeze that day,
Because my love wasn't love,
And he wasn't a dove,
But the wind was enough,
Just barely enough,
To carry him home
Safe and sound.

And thank the good Lord
There was a breeze that day,
And he didn't hit the ground,
And he can't differenciate
Between wind and my love,
And that he's not a dove,
And that he won't make the same mistakes again
As I will in lying about those three little words.

Lord forgive me. Keep him safe. Ay-men, Ay-lady.





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