Do you know what it's like,
to keep something inside?
You hold it close.
You swallow it,
when it's at the tip of your tongue,
in case it slips.
You embrace the pain,
and you wince as it takes you away
from the reality that you
you deserved.
You sit,
just sit,
because there's nothing else to do.
And you wait,
though you want
to run away from it all.

Do you know what it's like,
to wish it all away?
You squeeze your eyes shut tight,
imagine it's not real,
and when you open your eyes
you remember that it is.
You dream of lazy days
where you can just forget,
and when you wake it's all there.
You wish,
long and hard
and over and over.
It's not going to go away.

Do you know what it's like,
to try and accept reality?
You look for the glimmer of hope, the light,
And you see it,
Far off in the distance.
The darkness downs it whole
You're left with the facts
This and that,
That seem so trivial,
That seem so unimportant.
And you hope that they'll disappear.
and then false hope brings false results.
You recall that there's nothing,
Nothing
You can do to fix it.
There never was.



Everything is broken,
the shards of a shattered life.
But this time, I'm sweeping it all under the rug.

I've got a new one.