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What if I Fall

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What if I fall
Down from this cliff
Looking below
Only clouds block the abyss below

What if I fall
Will they catch me
I’d smile in pleasure
Fluffy white comfort all around me

What if I fall
And the clouds reject me
What is down there far below

What if I fall...



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_Elsy_ said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm
wow is all i can say. i rated it 5/5
 
fiftiesgal467 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Nice poem! I've read most of yours, and they're all deep!
P.S. I think we have the same first name! Elana?
 
Shannon_ replied...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Really good but i would take off "below" on the 4th line... i like it 4/5
 
SilverDawn said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Beautiful poem! My favourite line was "What if I fall/ And the clouds reject me" haha :D i found it quite cute
 
Ro.sιι.oнн.™ said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm
i like it good job.???
 
Marina said...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 11:14 am
Wow this is great keep on writing
 
LaylaViolet said...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 9:48 am
I liked this one the best!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall any minute, and this somes up those feelings perfectly. I would suggest that 'below' be taken out after 'abyss' (I know, I hate it when you can't change something once it's posted). Anyhoo, I'll make THIS one my favorite. Nice work! :P
 
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 5:18 pm
thanks. i actually wrote this in fourth grade, so ive goten better since then
 
Annabelle7614 replied...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 10:20 am
Duuuude fourth grade? I was writing about starfish back then, and I stunk at it! This has symbolism and flow and stuff! Awesome!
 
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 3:15 pm
thanks. well i dont remember; it might have been fifth grade.
 
Peach! replied...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 12:24 am
5th grade is still pretty cool!!! I'm a freshman, and I still can't write very well sometimes! Great job!
 
Imagination! replied...
Jan. 29, 2010 at 4:35 am
how old are you in fth grade. is that like our year 5? not sure coz that would make you 9 or 10 ? anyways... this is fab, i love the clouds rejecting part. i totally understand this, lol. complete fear of rejectment. hahaha
 
ZbHolland replied...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 9:38 pm
OW!!! I love it hun!!! And i was always told that if you get the urge to write, write!!!! books, poems, stories, notes, diaries, journals, everything is in mind to write, i myself got the urge last year to start a book, i write on it every time i get the itch to, i have got 98 pages so far, but i write at least 5 or 6 poems a day, i havent posted but a few on here!!!! 5/5, keep going!!
 
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