Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

What if I Fall

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
What if I fall
Down from this cliff
Looking below
Only clouds block the abyss below

What if I fall
Will they catch me
I’d smile in pleasure
Fluffy white comfort all around me

What if I fall
And the clouds reject me
What is down there far below

What if I fall...




Join the Discussion


This article has 13 comments. Post your own!

_Elsy_ said...
Jun. 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm:
wow is all i can say. i rated it 5/5
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
fiftiesgal467This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 8:07 pm:
Nice poem! I've read most of yours, and they're all deep!
P.S. I think we have the same first name! Elana?
 
Shannon_ replied...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:17 pm :
Really good but i would take off "below" on the 4th line... i like it 4/5
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
SilverDawn said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:34 pm:
Beautiful poem! My favourite line was "What if I fall/ And the clouds reject me" haha :D i found it quite cute
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Ro.sιι.oнн.™ said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm:
i like it good job.???
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Marina said...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 11:14 am:
Wow this is great keep on writing
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
LaylaViolet said...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 9:48 am:
I liked this one the best!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall any minute, and this somes up those feelings perfectly. I would suggest that 'below' be taken out after 'abyss' (I know, I hate it when you can't change something once it's posted). Anyhoo, I'll make THIS one my favorite. Nice work! :P
 
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 5:18 pm :
thanks. i actually wrote this in fourth grade, so ive goten better since then
 
Annabelle7614 replied...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 10:20 am :
Duuuude fourth grade? I was writing about starfish back then, and I stunk at it! This has symbolism and flow and stuff! Awesome!
 
CrazyClimber replied...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 3:15 pm :
thanks. well i dont remember; it might have been fifth grade.
 
Peach! replied...
Nov. 1, 2009 at 12:24 am :
5th grade is still pretty cool!!! I'm a freshman, and I still can't write very well sometimes! Great job!
 
Imagination! replied...
Jan. 29, 2010 at 4:35 am :
how old are you in fth grade. is that like our year 5? not sure coz that would make you 9 or 10 ? anyways... this is fab, i love the clouds rejecting part. i totally understand this, lol. complete fear of rejectment. hahaha
 
ZbHolland replied...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 9:38 pm :
OW!!! I love it hun!!! And i was always told that if you get the urge to write, write!!!! books, poems, stories, notes, diaries, journals, everything is in mind to write, i myself got the urge last year to start a book, i write on it every time i get the itch to, i have got 98 pages so far, but i write at least 5 or 6 poems a day, i havent posted but a few on here!!!! 5/5, keep going!!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback