Misunderstood

I can’t be vulnerable with you

I cried in your arms for the first time 

You held me

Even though you didn't understand

For a moment I felt comforted

Then realization hits

All the times I needed you

This feeling I feel is overdue

If you'd just be honest with yourself 

Take accountability in your realm 

Understand the hatred I feel towards your actions

But you remain clouded 

Lost in the judgment you hold in your mind 

You forget I feel too

You overlook the emotions you inflict upon me 

So all you do is disperse 

Words that hurt 

It's okay though because it was just said out of anger right?

The actions you do the words you say

You put on this display

Always justified with your frustration and anger.

You expect me to respect you and respond accordingly

Just because you put up with affording me

You want me to forget that the other night you tore through all my wounds 

I’m disrespectful 

I'm ungrateful 

You're disappointed 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Why don’t you open up?”

For years I questioned myself what was the right thing to do

To this day I am unable to fathom decisions

Do is speak and be ignored and get called disrespectful?

Or take it all in and suffer alone?

We live in a house built of lies and anger

Never speaking on the truth of what we feel

Leaving us to deal 

Learning how to give up on understanding each other.