did you know that if the shower is hot enough, it’ll feel like pain?

          your skin—flushed red by warmth

          your body—peppered by fiery droplets

did you know that the steam in showers causes panic attacks?

          you can’t see through condensation—

          you can’t breathe through heart palpitations—

did you know that i enjoy both

the haze & the ache

when i can’t see others & it feels like no one can see me

like the ostrich with its head in the sand

through the fog, through the humidity, through the heat, through the burn, through my tears—everything is blurry

but no one’s there to judge.