i want to eat soap

let the bitter alkaline taste sink into the back of my mouth

cold and clean

i want to burn like sage

i want to drown in sweet sticky cough medicine

to take an eraser to my mind

my lungs are full of carbon dioxide

my bones are made of plastic and my eyes are made of pixels

it is not a glorious or beautiful death

if only i could be swept up by the ocean

or tangled up in roots and devoured by moss and mushrooms

struck by an falling star that splits the earth in two

or consumed by fire erupting from the ground

then my story could be sung to a tragic melody

but instead i am dirty and polluted

corrupted

i scrub and i scrub, i stand beneath a waterfall

but this can’t be washed away

maybe it just needs some soap