i.
theres a
tansy
on my desk

and in your
embroidered script
its vulgar
--(vulgare, vuleare)--
Latin name

in
   gold
      and
         green
            it
                twists
                  towards       
the

in
vi
si
bl
e

burni
ngsun

andasitglowsandgrowsonitslacybookmark

i remember

flawlessly

how i will never see you again.

ii.
your
h a n d w r i t i n g
graces
--gracefully,graceful--

the corners of dozens of hard brown envelopes

(envelopes envelope me)

but the corners arent hard anymore
dulled from months of
reopeningrereadingremembering
almost a year of
rethinkingrewritingrendingapart

id like to write you a letter but last time you

didntr
espond

your rejection is sharper than any 
cor
    n
    e
    r
could ever be
your envelopes more
de
   je
      ct
         in
            g
than a form letter saying
'not good enough'

because you didnt say that.
you said nothing.

iii.
the tansy is from
Emily of New Moon

who is

yours
ister

who is

toblameforallofthis,sorrynotsorry

but she would say

imtoblameforallofthis,sor-renotsorry

shed probly be 
     r
     i
     g
     h
     t
becuz i tend to be rong
at least i can admit 

--remit, pay for--

it.

iv.
whenisentyou

H   P   Y    I    T   D   Y
   A   P   B   R   H   A

2 days early
because i was
O V E R E A G E R
to SEE ifyoud
SAY anythingorifwe
stillwerent TALK ing

you graciously
--graces,gracefully,graceful--
replied
you hadhad a 

H
  A
    P
      P
        Y

BIRTHDAY
indeed

--(like your sister always said indeed)--
like you and i were still friends

i hope this means something.
i know it doesnt.