“Time is the most expensive luxury in the world. It’s something you spend and never get back, but you never know how much you have left.”

How much have you lost?

How much are you willing to lose?

How much have you done?

How much are you willing to do?

I ask the audience such a question,

because i’ve lost such a blessing.

I’ve been tested by life,

pain, gloom, strife.

Tested by gangs, guns, knives,

and death many times.

I’ve never been afraid to die,

never been afraid of the consequences

of the death,

i’ve seen many people take their

last breath.

i’ve never been scared 

of what comes after.

I’d probably be in hell

according to the pastor.

Hell, jail,

blue suits with pale faces,

.22 in my braces,

dog chases,

the racists,

never been scared of any of it,

the problems vary,

But the threat that death 

could take someone you love,

now that,

that’s scary.

This is a very personal story 

to share,

coming from a person like me

you might not care,

but this makes my heart tear.

I got homie,

Or I had a homie,

that told me

“one day i’ll get so rich that i’ll buy our hood.”

and i said, “well you should,

cause you can,

i mean we’re basically

the kings of this land.”

We were,

till he was taken by time.

After he died

so many people hit my line

talking about, “Slide! Slide!”.

it got me pissed off

cause the bros know

i would kill bout mine.

like for real,

no discussion,

no tusslin,

just guns bussin,

but this time i couldnt do it.

screaming in my room alone,

“I cant! I can’t!”

i pant as i have nightmares 

of his blood on my pants,

painting me with guilt.

All this pain i feel 

is because i ain’t get revenge?

I cant take it no more,

should i get the gun, noose, or the syringe?

Go 100 mph in front of a tree 

and hit it?

Seems like a million ways to die

and only one way to live it.

Sacrifice for success.

If you want it

you gotta get it,

love?

you gotta risk it.

but not one day

i ever thought that i would pivot.

you might not know it,

but where i’m from

misfortune happens

as often as trees sway,

but i won first anyways

like green bay,

stayed to myself,

never worried about no

he say, she say.

So why am i so unstable?

Why am i going insane?

maybe i just don’t know

how to persevere

when life gets severe,

or maybe people are just

making it hard for me.

They dont want me to succeed

without sacrifice.

They want me to kill, 

to stay and drill,

but i’m not going back

to overdue bills,

or corner store pills,

i want to make a mill,

and chill,

you know the deal.

lettin ya homies eat,

lettin momma rest her feet,

sittin in the dark

listening to beats,

gazing at your trophies,

admiring your feats,

flexing foreign metals

in your teeth,

ignoring all the beef,

or probably,

just move from society.

My dead friend succeeded,

maybe not as much as he wanted to,

but he succeeded.

I succeeded,

maybe not with the people i wanted,

but I succeeded.

You earn success,

if time wills it.

Patience,

you must build it.

Because impatience

leads to failure 

9 times out of 10,

So if I may ask again,

How much have you lost?

How much are you willing to lose?

How much have you done?

How much are you willing to do…

to succeed?