Flowers Are for Funerals MAG

By Amanda M., Miami, FL

     Like survivors of the plague, we raced through the woods,
Etching our lives away into the trees.
Our hair sprinkled with stardust,
We laughed until our laughter turned to sobs and we
Wept rivers into the soil.
The leaves fell as we shook in each other’s arms,
While somewhere in the distance, an owl gave its mourning cry
And the wind swayed the trees in a symphony of sighs.
With a shudder I collapsed onto the ground.
You gathered the flowers from where I lay,
Tore up the petals and cast them away.
In a voice laden with sleep you said, “Flowers are for funerals.”
You sank to the ground and lay down beside me, the moonbeams scattered around us.
Fingers entwined, we gazed up at the stars and lost ourselves
In the valleys of the moon and the shadows that played across them.
But the fire was dying now,
And we felt the weariness
Tugging at our bones like the ocean current.
Death’s little sister laid her fingers on our eyelids and
Gradually the world began to darken
Until only the stars remained,
Burned into my vision like tiny dots of static forever

glowing bright.




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This article has 7 comments.


i love this so much!

x0x0xJ SILVER said...
on Apr. 24 2011 at 12:17 am
x0x0xJ SILVER, Wood Dale, Illinois
7 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and go for a stroll out through my mouth. This is rarely a good thing.

Hey! I love this! And I also wanted to tell you I'd like to talk to you sometime! I love how nice you were to me when you commented on my poems, it meant a lot! You seem so sweet! So thank you! (:

on Sep. 7 2010 at 9:09 pm
tawny_2011 SILVER, Inez, Kentucky
6 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everyone is gonna hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

Piglet: "How do you spell love"
Pooh: "You don't spell it...you feel it" <3

This is awesome.

You use very interesting imagery and word choice.

Absolutely Beautiful. <3


on Jun. 1 2010 at 8:52 pm
dancewritedream SILVER, S. Dartmouth, Massachusetts
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting."

Dark and beautiful. Very nice, I love the imagery.

leliza BRONZE said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 6:27 pm
leliza BRONZE, Wichita Falls, Texas
1 article 1 photo 17 comments
I agree with E.Lee. This poem was written by the author, not you. The writer creates the poem the way that they see it in their mind.

E.Lee GOLD said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 10:31 am
E.Lee GOLD, Akron, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 168 comments
This poem was written by the mind of the author. Meaning if this was your poem you could write it however you pleased. But it isnt from your mind. It's from the authors.

LauraBora said...
on Jun. 21 2009 at 6:24 am
I would like some context as to what is going on, like why the people are in this forest, or some more emotional detail. There could be a bit more specific imagery. I think some figurative or implicit clue as to what happened to these people or maybe their relationship, (romantic, friendly, unfamiliar).



You could do without "with a shudder I collapsed onto the ground" entirely. It does nothing for the development or tone. It kind of screws up the imagery because you don't have any other deirect positioning. You should go with a blurry setting, (which I think is effective and appropriate in this case), or a clear and specific setting.



And just a smll thing: I think it would work well if you used 'say' rather than 'said' before "flowers are for funerals" because it injects the reader more into the moment. You used this in "But the fire was dying now." It's a similar type of thing.



In "Gradually the world began to darken", the word 'began' isn't right. "Gradually the world darkened" or "the world began to darken" or "darkness gradually came (and/or) fell" might be better.



Also, perhaps clarification in some way as to what you mean by, "Flowers are for funerals." I don't get it. Perhaps this is because the reader is not familiar with the events or characters you may have in mind.



I do like it though, or I wouldn't have taken the time to edit it. Keep writing and thank you for reading my comments, if you did.


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