There have been 5,844 days from the day I was born up to today.
There were exactly 198 full moons after I was born up to this day.
How many of them did I actually see?

835 weeks 
192 months
As I sit here writing this, I have been alive for exactly 5844 days, 5 hours, 4 minutes and 49 seconds
and according to science I should die on Sunday, February 2nd, 2081 at the ripe old age of 80 years old.

But how many people have never seen 198 full moons, and how many people have never lived 5844 days?
and exactly how many full moons did I miss?

The year is 1964. the day, November 21st.
My grandfather is the first police officer to cross the new Verrazano Bridge, connecting Staten Island and Brooklyn.
This too was a practically full moon.
The New York Times stated that day, “The sun shone, the sky was cloudless; bands played, cannons echoed up and down the harbor, flags waved, and thousands of motorists yesterday became part of the first—and perhaps only—blissful traffic jam on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge.”

That bridge still stands, but where is he?
What becomes of him?

No one remembers.

10 years this April my grandfather left this world in a hospital bed, needles all over his body, a soul crying out at the end of its days.
Only 8 years old but I still remember looking out his hospital window and into the Manhattan skyline, the first time I ever prayed to God on my own.
I told myself I would never forget this moment, and I have stayed true to my own word.

They say that grief is just love with no place to go, but I know that my love is going somewhere, someplace I can’t quite comprehend, someplace beyond the limits of our existence.
A place which we will all understand, in time.

His soul, joining the full moon, the year is 2008.
My grandfather did not die. He just went home.

The fate that connects us, the destiny that controls us, how much of who I am is defined by what I have missed?

and what I now will remember:
How many full moons will I watch now?