What does it matter if I live or if I die?

I’m a background character to my own life, no one misses the one person from the grey mass, the same mass.

So what would it matter if i lived or if i die?

Can anyone tell me that?

My father gone, before he even left,

my mother stares with nothing but a left expression, she’s already gone from the conversation.

I don’t want to be like them, stuck in lives they do not wish to exist.

Stuck because they can not resist, what deal they have been left with.

I feel it, it creeps when I’m not looking, the gene that I’ll never be happy.

Who are you? Who am I? Who are we in this life?

I still don’t know what it would matter if I were to live or to die,

But for some reason I wish to live this life even if I get the bad life.