Racing cars and the asymptotic exploring of your hands on my body.

That text you got from your girlfriend,then the call.

The audible sighs and pain in your face.

The strength in the hand that covered my mouth as you spoke to her.

The power of you slamming down the phone.

The power in your question.

My fear of being problematic.

I didn’t want to sleep with you in your car.

But I wanted you to feel better.

Your hands breaking the rules and your eyes breaking my heart

Our breathing fogging the windows, your glasses disappeared

It felt like we were back again.

Back to loving

And living.

Then we weren’t again.

You just needed something to use.

How did she know I was with you?

I called you that night.

Of course you didn’t answer..

But the text you sent was enough

I guess..

Ending a friendship seemed like a lot.

Over your mistake.

I just wanted you to feel better.

I left you a voicemail,

But I was alone with my brain

What was I supposed to say?

That was the moment I understood why people feared silence

How could I make you feel better?

Three years of abusing me

But I just wanted you to feel better.