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I was original.
In sixth grade I was original
Well not so much.
I wore tutus and knee socks
And the wrong kind of converse, apparantly.
I had one best friend in my class and the rest were from theater
I was essentially the only actress in my...grade?
I got the wrong looks
I was on a team with the 50 most popular girls in my grade
And I hated it
I was beaten down
I wear vineyard vines
I wear converse
But the right kind
So I get the right kind of looks
Are no looks
Because I don’t want to be noticed
I arm myself with expensive brands that nobody can really afford but we buy them
I walk through my day
I still talk too much
I’m working on that
I talk too much and suddenly even this 50$ tee shirt can’t mask
That I’m just a theater kid
A tutu wearing
Knee sock loving
But I make it through the day
I walk into the auditorium for play practice
I sing and dance and act and talk
And I don’t worry about talking too much
Because here what I have to say is valued
I wear my knee socks and my tutu proudly and I will only change here
If there is another dance number
Not to be accepted
Because your family always accepts you. And this is my family.
Seventh grade I was normal enough
I was a caterpillar newly a butterfly
These new wings felt oversized
But oversized is cool right now, right?
Is my t shirt too oversized or just oversized enough because Kayla told Kylie that Ella had said that it was....
I hope this Nike gym bag hides the fact that I’m not an athlete
Because I should be an athlete
Who isn’t an athlete
The kids at my school don’t know we have a school musical
Unless you’re in it
Which you aren’t
I care too much
I realized then I talked too much
I am supposed to talk in hushed tones about other girls
But that I don’t do
I’m supposed to be quirky
But not...theater quirky
I’m wearing two different Victoria’s Secret flip flops quirky
I still. love. theater.
I sing and I dance and I act my fears away
On stage I feel
The play was fine
But by the April Musical I wanted to fit in
I talked about it too much
I tried to socialize with a few low tier popular girls who happened to stumble into the musical
Don’t mix theater and being normal
Seventh grade I figured that out.
Now I’m going into 8th grade
And I realize
I’m becoming normal
In my own way
I’ve bought enough Victoria’s Secret this summer, to fit in.
I’m talking less
Saving it for theater
For a capella
I have sprinklings of originality left in me
My t shirts have feminist sayings on them
My leggings, are admittedly normal
But my converse are colored bright blue
I’m so edgy
I chose a different color of 60$ privileged kid shoes
Who is she
Can you tell im being sarcastic?
I am occasionally filled with a fiery anger
And wanting for the person I used to be
I am the person That the world made me
Eighth grade, I hope that sticks.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been
Because I figured out
That to be accepted
You hide the deepest and well, realest parts of yourself
Most of the time
You channel them where it’s maybe gonna be accepted
Play practice. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. 2:45-5 pm.
I wouldn’t survive.