What I Never Said | Teen Ink

What I Never Said

August 9, 2018
By writtenbyemily SILVER, Spring, Texas
writtenbyemily SILVER, Spring, Texas
9 articles 7 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
'“One must always be careful of books...and what is inside them, for words have the power to change us.” Cassandra Clare

All those times when you looked at me and told
me that I needed to work out just because you could
see an inch of my fat sticking out from the back
of my shirt,
I never said anything.

All those times that you told me that I needed to
diet because I was eating one leftover piece of
cake from a party for dessert,
I never said anything.

All those times you told me that you would put me
back into the school that I was physically abused
and bullied at just as a threat for my misbehavior,
I never said anything.

All those times that you looked me in the eye and
told me it didn’t matter if I failed because you had
two other children that would succeed more
than I ever could in life,
I never said anything.

But what if I had said something?
Would I come off as rude even though in my head
it explained everything?
Would your anger only increase after I explained
the pain that you had put me through?

But if I could have said something,
I would have said this:
Mom, I love you,
and I just want you to love me too.

The author's comments:

My Mom had gone through some tough times dealing with diseases causing her mood swings to amplify. She used to get mad at me for things that didn't even matter, like eating the last cookie or something like that. During those moments of complete anger, she would say things to me that I would never ever think that a mother would say to her young and growing 14 year old. After she would yell at me, she wouldn't talk to me for another three or four days leaving me alone to sulk and cry all night. Eventually, she would apologize, and at the moment we are ok and back to being a normal family, but there was always that "what if" in the back of my mind. As in, what if I had said something during those arguments? What if they would have stopped? What if we would both be happy if I said something ? And that is what my piece is about.

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