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I reflect on the years before I found,
That it'd been in your words that I drowned.
Ignorance certainly was not bliss,
But then again, neither is this.
Enlightenment has made me strong,
I realize now that you were wrong.
But this knowing also brings me pain,
And fear that you'll hurt me again.
There's darkness etched into my soul,
In the place your words ripped a hole.
It'll always be there now,
A part of me I have to avow.
Sometimes it eats away at me,
When I think back on the memories,
Of me being blamed and shamed by you,
Leaving cracks and fissures. What did I do?
I walked on eggshells, cringing each time,
I said something wrong, commited a crime.
A facial expression, a certain tone,
Could set you off. How could I have known?
You say you've changed, but I'm still scared,
Just a little girl hugging her stuffed bear.
I was innocent, I now realize,
I did not put the anger in your eyes.
Something happened to you, I don't know what,
But it hardened your heart and into me you cut.
Now I am left to stitch up the wounds,
To hope that the torture never resumes.
I've backed away slowly from your toxic breadth,
And examined my lesions and scars in-depth.
No longer trapped by your accusations,
I can think for myself, without your negation.
I'm putting on my sword and shield,
To protect my self in life's battlefield.
For the burden you gave me has dissolved,
And into an indomitable spirit, I have evolved.