Sometimes

April 25, 2014
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Sometimes,
I feel like,
My world is left to burn.

Sometimes,
People say that,
They’re so sorry to learn…

Sometimes,
I hate it,
I hate the growing pain.

Sometimes,
I want to,
Just forget and play again.

Sometimes,
I know that,
What my Mum says is right.

Sometimes,
I wish she,
Could make me believe her fight.

Sometimes,
I get so,
Depressed and weaken.

Sometimes,
I cannot reach,
That hopeful beacon.

And sometimes,
Most times,
I can see my disease spread.

And sometimes,
Most times,
I wish that I was dead.

But sometimes,
Other times,
I hope I’ll pull through.

But sometimes,
Other times,
I’ll do it all for you.

Sometimes,
I try desperately,
To laugh, sing and smile.

Sometimes,
I think,
Maybe if I try for a while...

And, finally, sometimes,
I struggle on for,
Me.

And, finally, sometimes,
I’m selfish,
It’s ME.





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This article has 56 comments. Post your own now!

currently_liddell said...
May 28, 2014 at 9:47 am
Its very emotional I'm not huge on the short stanzas but theyre not bad they almost sound like your tired of pain which might of been your point.
 
WOWriting replied...
May 28, 2014 at 10:10 am
yeh i don't think this is GREAT but i cant do long stanzas sorry :) thanks for ur critiszm
 
ashlynn17 said...
May 23, 2014 at 3:15 pm
it's very emotional,and I can easily relate to the meaning behind it. I love that you can word it so gracefully.
 
WOWriting replied...
May 23, 2014 at 4:23 pm
Thank you for being so kind about my work :)
 
ashlynn17 replied...
May 23, 2014 at 7:03 pm
No problem. It is very good.
 
mereCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 22, 2014 at 2:05 am
Nice stuff, really origional way of presenting/structuring it (:
 
WOWriting replied...
May 22, 2014 at 2:57 am
Thanks :) the structure idea just came to me when i was daydreaming but i had to change it a bit
 
mereCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 22, 2014 at 1:01 pm
Yeah, I always get things that just come into my head when I'm walking or something :)
 
DragonAmericaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 21, 2014 at 4:48 pm
great job! XD  
 
WOWriting replied...
May 22, 2014 at 3:01 am
Thank you :)
 
SammHamilton said...
May 16, 2014 at 8:12 am
wow i loved it. It is really relatable and i liked the way the stanzas were placed, it caught my eye. though i dont have feedback to give you, i would really appriciate it if you would reveiw my new (and only) book called "The Alliance". i really need some one to help me look for mistakes and im always looking for new ideas and things that can be revised. thanks :)
 
WOWriting replied...
May 16, 2014 at 11:25 am
Have done :) thanks for the lovely comments btw. made me happy
 
sneha14This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 6, 2014 at 12:35 pm
I loved your poem! It seems to have a deeper meaning than just what appears through words, and that is what helps the reader connect with the poem. 
 
WOWriting replied...
May 6, 2014 at 1:53 pm
Thanks - appreciate it :)
 
WOWriting said...
May 5, 2014 at 6:22 am
Feedback? :)
 
BeatnikLover replied...
May 5, 2014 at 12:56 pm
I loved to read this and could actually relate to it pretty well. I wish I could give you some feedback, but honestly I'm terrible with poetry and only write free verse or haiku. I just enjoyed reading it. 
 
WOWriting replied...
May 5, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Thanks, glad u liked it :) it's the other way round for me, i can only write rhyming poetry and when i do free verse, it just sounds kind of stupid and random
 
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