Her Drowning Hopes | Teen Ink

Her Drowning Hopes

June 8, 2013
By kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy


Emotions flood the house like water,
The family swims but they leave her daughter.
She kicks and coughs, trying to escape,
But she feels like she'll drown and it'll be too late.
The windows are shut and all her fingers slip,
The water weighs her time and it's starting to drip.
Who would have guessed that when she acted okay,
She was just faking and trying to push us away?
The house has filled up, now it leaks trough the cracks
And the money they make floats in piles, floats in stacks.
Water forces its way in place of her memories,
And it waves its arms teasing, replacing thoughts with its seas
The pipes have all burst like the veins in her body
She's broken and sinking, wondering "how'd they forget me?"
The house now is filled, but her heart is still empty
She chokes her last words, "why have they left me?"
Suffocation is possibly the worst way to go,
She kept swallowing water because breathing's too slow.
Who could have saved her, since her voice didn't bubble to the top?
Her family didn't wait when she asked them to stop.
So today she writes poems, from the bottom of the ocean.
I wish I could show you one, but it seems that she's sold them.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Oct. 28 2013 at 1:33 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Dang, this is just so relatable. And the flawless way you wove the lines, they flowed so smoothly—and I was really impressed by just the message overall. Great job!

on Aug. 4 2013 at 6:49 pm
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

Thank you so, so much. You always say the nicest thing and give me a reason to keep posting. I need to catch up on yours! Thanks once again for reading and commenting, I appreciate it more than you know

on Jul. 8 2013 at 5:42 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey hey hey! I'm making my rounds to all of my favorite writers trying to leave them some feedback as I feel that I haven't been on in forever.. a week in a half isn't forever but it's close enough. I have read this poem but of course I did not have time to leave you a comment. Anyways, I think this is one of my favorites by you. Everything as a whole goes together REALLY well and you did a great job with the connections. This poem is relatable for a lot of people and writer's love when they can relate to someone else's work, then they don't feel like they are alone. I wish and hope that more people will come across this poem, it's wonderful. It's so so interesting.. all the descriptions and relations to water are great. And the ending was so sad, but I enjoyed the way you ended it. As always, you did a splendid job and I really did like this poem.