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Dasha: Of an Estival Goodbye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Somber, red lipstick lay atop a dress,
Plaintively sewn with one spindly finger,
Salt splayed across the floor, her face a mess,
But syrup-stained lips drew her to linger,
Compelled by innocuous acts of lust,
She came running – three hours by dirt road,
Following silhouettes despite distrust,
Her Achilles heel; she asked for the code,
To the house that thundered and shook daily,
The tinted ethers boiled and sputtered,
Together we wore red lipstick gaily,
Shedding emotions that were too cluttered,
Secrets divulged were rebottled with sleep,
Transient light flecked the tea left to steep.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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eliana924 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2011 at 9:27 pm
I love how you used a stict rhyme and meter to juxtapose the abstract quality of its content. I also really like the imagery. Some people said the words were big and hard to understand, but I like the air of grandeur your vocabulary adds.
 
Artist4lif3 said...
Apr. 3, 2011 at 11:48 am
okay..i dnt understand this AT ALL. i think its just the big words..
 
toria45 replied...
Apr. 20, 2011 at 5:49 pm
same here keep easier to read
 
Archery-nerd replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 11:49 pm
I got it. It was amazing!
 
buggzbunnie said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 9:46 pm
i dont understand thed point this poem makes but i love it . i love tht a poem i dnt understand  can be so good and make since all at once
 
MoandBrowniegirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 4:38 pm

This is a wonderful poem. I love how it follows a structured line, yet veers off in every possible direction. This is the best way to enjoy poetry; abstract reality. I'm really impressed; some of the best write like this. You have to pause and think.

Keep it up!

 
Poetry4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 3, 2010 at 8:20 pm
I like this very much. I think that it is nicely done. I am really picky when it comes to reading poetry but I really liked this. Great job. That was stupendous!!! I know that this might not mean much since I'm only 13, but still, it was AMAZING!!
 
Pa S. said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 6:32 pm
woah. too many big words. if i understood all of them, then i'l understand it. wat i did understand, tho, was GREAT! kudoz
 
Annie-kins replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 7:22 pm

I do like this poem, though I had to read it a couple times to understand it... and I think I catch the meaning of it.

My comment to Pa S. though, is that poems shouldn't be considered great simply because you think it has advanced vocabulary.  I think it's a little unfair to tell the author that you loved the poem even though you don't get it.

 
deleted. replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 8:10 pm
thanks. i'll take that into consideration.
 
laura111 said...
Nov. 30, 2009 at 9:39 pm
What is this about? Sorry, I'm confused. But otherwise it was beautifully written!
 
PoetLaureate07 replied...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 9:15 am
same here...... its still pretty though.... some of the most beautiful poetry is what you cant understand, but what is still understandable at the same time!!!
 
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