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Rest Softly on Angel Wings

There once was a lone bluejay,
fresh hopes and anew.
And a tower stood brooding,
shadows booming with gloom.

Our bluejay yearned the tower-
to live at the top-
but she was entwined with Earth
with no way to rise up.

The demolition of dreams
and stones in her heart
could not cease our dear bluejay
from finding her depart.

Few believed wishful thinking,
others merely laughed,
but a dove watched from sidelines
and then silently clapped.

For wicked things had sprouted
from the heart, beyond.
The breeze had begun to lift-
our bluejay almost gone!

But darkness tended to chase
those peaceful with work.
Our beloved bluejay saw
and then started to choke.

The tower heightened again
as doubt took control.
Our lovely bluejay succumbed
and tumbled to below.

Remember the hidden dove?
so humble in praise?
Well, he witnessed the deep clouds
and our bluejay’s decay.

He intinctly took action
and prayed for the best
for our slow-dying bluejay
was not heaving her chest.

The dove could do nothing more
than to whisper sweet love
straight into her losing lungs-
not enlightened enough.

Hope was but a faint glimmer
in still seconds passed.
but encouragement
might have grabbed reign at last.

For faint breath has escaped her,
the dove still in shock,
our bluejay’s eyelids flittered,
their eyes intensely locked.

It was then, despite the pain,
together they rose-
to the tower and onward!-
forever teammates I suppose.



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This article has 7 comments. Post your own!

PhoenixCrossingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 2:59 am:
thank you!
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
yesterday at 4:55 pm:
I like the metaphor. I think it's awesome that you wrote this about your teammates. I dunno how everyone is saying they don't get this poem.—By the way, don't feel bad if they don't get it. You should be proud. If it's something people easily get, it means they'll forget about it easily.—Anyway, I think the title's perfect. And the whole story. The theme also is emotional but powerful. 
 
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TaylorWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 16 at 7:52 pm:
Really good job. The beginning sounded like Dr. Seuss a bit (don't be embarrassed; he's an incredible poet.), and I loved it. But the ending section seemed more like a classic fable. This is something I can imagine being a classic and living for years and years on end. The metaphor in it all was really great as well. I loved how you compared it to your cross country teammates. I understand how teammates can really pick you up; I've experienced the same thing, so this was really relat... (more »)
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 13 at 1:05 pm:
Hey there! I agree with WrenArrington about the fact that the title doesn't really go with the poem. And I felt like in about three stanzas the rhymes were forced and caused little bumps in the flow. But, other than that your vocabulary is good and I enjoyed the length and set-up. I also like the concept. Good job.
 
PhoenixCrossingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 17 at 11:17 am :
The wings of the dove were the bluejay's guardian angel.
 
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WrenArringtonThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 13 at 7:46 am:
Hmm, I felt like the title didn't really tie in to the poem much, mostly because it refers to angel wings while the poem is about birds. I liked how you told a story with a lot of short stanzas; that makes it easier to read. I think you might've misused a couple of words. For example, "could not cease our dear bluejay" doesn't seem to make sense. Except for those things, nice poem.
 
PhoenixCrossingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 17 at 11:17 am :
The wings of the dove were the bluejay's guardian angel.
 
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